Thursday, December 26, 2019

2019 - The Emerging Year


The most valuable journey in 2019 that i've been going through is about enhancing my dicipline, especially dicipline in my consciousness.

This english blog post is just one of hundreds (maybe thousands) way i've been doing for this year, related to enhance my awareness to get more value in my consciousness. I'am also write this with my 10 finger skill in writing on keyboard. I write this not for being stubborn, or riya' (dishonest attitude that relates to musrik - Islam value), but  just want to synchronized my brain,  and activating it so i can do bubling while i writes simoultaneously. That's also another thing that i;ve got from 2019.

I talking about myself. This blog gave big container for me to share about my self. That also i just realize in this year. Knowing container is one of essential step to knowing yourself. The Bekal Pemimpin session that held by United in Diversity pointed me as scriber. The person who recap and record the workshop process. The Bekal Pemimpin is  program that gathered and connect more than fifty emerging person who had portofolio in making valuable action in communities. This program was gave an impact to me, so much. I also drown in process to diciplinized my self and found lot of new value in my journey as human being,

The value was relief in my container. Container i've just realized that connect me  to the deepest source of me. I don't know what exactly my source in doing everything previously. I also have  problem to connect my potention and context within the past year, into the another year. I usually believe in the universe who brings me to another place in my journey. But after knowing my container, i just found that my journeys are weapon to my self to face the uncertain condition in my next journey. My pieces of experience is a bullet for my source of thought. My piece of skill is a panel for my next works.

Form understanding containers, i could figure the hierarchy of my intention in connecting outer-me, my connection, my works, my portofolio. Not only based on need and want, but also based on humanity, togetherness and all about strengthen the social field. I'm not talking about solidarity. I talk about tacit pontention in our source as human who still has territories to be connected.

I still need my sadness, to shaped my disconnect part of me. I still need my trustworthy, to figured the true-logic pont that i've to walk on. And  still need my worries, to ask people that i need to trust.  And i steel need future, to proofing my zero-ness.

I think i always be zero. I always be circle, I always be atom. The essence of universe. The dot that creates line. The line that creates area. The area that creates space.

I'am zero.